Shut the hell up and go away already!!

I really can�t express how much I hate my neighbors. Actually, how all living beings in our house hate our neighbors (husband, dogs, cats, and birds). It�s 5:45pm on an average Thursday evening, and the headache I began getting at work earlier has now blossomed under a steady diet of loud off road vehicles being driven up and down our street at high speeds. Before you ask if I live on a dirt road in the middle of the desert, let me answer you�no, I don�t. But I do live in a suburb in what used to be a rural part of San Diego, and it�s on the way out to the desert, where all my stinkin� neighbors go on the weekend (it�s a lot more peaceful then). If you are not familiar with these �Desert Rat� spawns of Satan, let me describe: They�re the guys that wore those obnoxious �Big Johnson� T-Shirts in high school. They went to �The River� in the off-desert season. They drive trucks with 6 tires and decals on the back window reading things like �Dodge--Eatin� Fords and Shittin� Chevys!� And now that very truck is parked, towing a giant �toy� trailer, across my driveway, making it extremely difficult to park my own small car. What the hell is that about?

Why do I put up with it? you may ask. We have a (damned expensive) homeowners association made to prevent this sort of thing. Our curbs are painted red to keep people from parking anywhere but their own driveway. My simple answer is: because we are outnumbered. When we moved in we had no idea we were required to own at least one 3-Wheeled vehicle. I must have missed that clause when we signed the papers.

There�s also the question of just how I tell my freaky, often drunk, off roadin� next door neighbor to shut the hell up and get his giant-ass trailer off my driveway. Was his story told to us shortly after we moved in about how he chopped up a neighbor�s dog (!!!) with an axe true? (Reason: it growled at his mother) I don�t want to find out. Nor do I want to have to check the backyard for dog food laced with arsenic anytime Jeffrey or Matchbox needs to pee. But I fear that my sanity is starting to suffer from the constant noise.

He mentioned last year that they would be moving �next year�. How soon do you think that will be? Tomorrow? The day after? �Cause I�m getting tired of waiting.