I'm OK, You're OK

God, I can�t wait for the season premier of Six Feet Under.

But, until then�

I�ve become aware that I am lacking a satisfactory label for myself. I know my husband is a �nerd�, and The Jeffrey is a �freak�, but I�m torn when it comes to myself, and especially my sexuality. If I list enough adjectives and identifying traits can the great label-maker in the sky help me out?

I came across a post on DykeWrite.com titled What Makes A Lesbian?. I was curious to find out what makes a lesbian, as I usually identify myself as such, except for that whole married to a man thing. This particular post says that self-identity as a lesbian isn�t enough, and that lesbians are really only lesbians when they serve the gay community politically. The author of the post notes that �Solidarity is essential to the continuation of the lesbian community.� Hm. Well, I self-identify as a lesbian, and I�m still active in the gay community (as much as I ever was when I was dating women exclusively), and I�m married to a man. What does that make me?

Some facts about me:

� I dated women exclusively for 7+ years

� I have a rainbow sticker on one of my cars

� I love The L Word

� I subscribe to the Lesbian Connection

� I got to the local gay pride celebration every year

� I check out women with my husband (not in a threesome possibility way, but in a �hey, she is hot!� way)

� My chosen life partner has a penis

Now, a lot of people would whip out their pointer-fingers and declare me a bisexual, or a hasbien (shudder), except that I don�t feel like I�m bisexual, and I still find women attractive. I�ve always felt closer to women and connected best with women (well, to be fair, I�ve always connected well with gay men, too). At what time is my lesbian status revoked? I�d really like to know. It�s starting to stress me out. Do I need to officially declare my change of status? Like when I change my last name at the DMV?

If you know what I am, and what I should refer to myself as, could you please let me know? Until that time, I will continue to identify myself as I always have. �Me.�

Excuse me now; I have to go catch the season finale of The L Word. And heads up--Queer As Folk starts next week!