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Trapped...In My Own Pants!

June 18, 2004
Have you ever been trappedÖin your own pants? Seriously. I have a really cute pair of cropped pants I purchased at the Gap outlet (thrifty me!) that I just love. Except for one thingóthe drawstring waist.

This particular pair of pants has a shoestring-like drawstring that ties in the front and isnít really very efficient when it comes to drawing the waistband of your pants closed. But I tie it, just to be on the safe side. There are numerous other fastening on these pants designed to keep them up. These pants are equipped with a zipper, a button, and belt loops, in addition to the sucky drawstring. My pants wonít be falling down anytime soon. However, all of these contraptions can become a little bulky and awkward when youíre doing the really-need-to-pee dance in the bathroom.

The drawstring itself has knotted several times on me in the past. However, tonight was the worst. After consuming a large diet coke at the movie theater late this afternoon I drove to dinner with my parents, where I rapidly drank two ginormous iced teas. My first mistake was leaving the restaurant without using the restroom and driving home. My second mistake was forgetting to carefully untie the drawstring. Instead I yanked it, instantly turning the front of my pants into a wicked snarl, impossible to untie with mere mortal fingers.

Damn.

Fortunately, Frinklin did not see me do the really-need-to-pee dance while in the bathroom, wiggling around and cursing my rather large breasts (Iím sure I will regret using that phrase when I check out my referring statistics tomorrow) that blocked my view of the worst possible time and place for a knot to form. Also fortunately, I do have super-human fingers, and I was finally able to get the knot untied. Thank God for that. I donít think I could handle Frinklin blogging about helping me to clean up a puddle of pee off the bathroom floor.

Iím pretty sure itís just a matter of time before I take a pair of scissors to a certain part of these pants.

9:59 p.m. :: 0 comments so far ::
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