The Adultress

After the memorial service on Saturday, Leonard took me out to lunch, as we hadn�t seen each other in some time. We stopped by my house to see if Frinklin wanted to come with us, but he was all wrapped up playing Knights of the Old Republic on the computer (as opposed to the X-Box, which apparently wasn�t good enough, was it, Nerdy?). Being the good wife that I am, I took an order for Frinklin�s lunch, and Leonard and I went off to our favorite Mexican restaurant.

Before I go any further, let me point out that �our favorite� is really �my family�s favorite.� We moved to this town 19 years ago and we�ve eaten dinner at this same restaurant EVERY Friday night for all of those 19 years. I skipped a few meals when I lived too far away or was busy going clubbing in my early twenties, but I could only escape so long. Now that I actually enjoy spending time with my family I make sure I�m there for each and every free Friday night meal. The waitresses know us, they reserve a table for us without a phone call, and they recognize me with or without blue hair (on a side note�when I had blue hair, a lady at the DMV offered to change my official hair color to �BLUE� on my driver�s license if I still had it when my license expired, too bad I didn�t take her up on the offer. But I digress�).

As soon as we arrived, the waitresses started whispering. Finally, they brought us our menus. Leonard and I ordered our iced teas, all the while observing the staff staring at us. I know I had gotten a weird tan line at the memorial service�but was it that bad?

Finally, our waitress asked me, �Aren�t you here on Friday nights?�

�Yeah�my family and I come in.�

�Well�� She glances at Leonard and leans in conspiratorially, �That�s not your husband!�

I was so surprised that the waitresses would notice, or even care, that I was there with another man, I didn�t know what to say. I realized I was making myself look guilty, so I busted out with, �OH NO! He�s just a friend! We actually just came from seeing Frinklin�I�m about to order some food to take home to him!�

She looked at Leonard and then back to me with the �Of course you�re just friends,� head nod with raised eyebrows. Obviously she had a connection with Frinklin and wasn�t going to let this issue go. When I actually did order Frinklin�s usual meal, she relaxed a little more. When Leonard and I left a big tip and walked up to pay the bill, we finally seemed to convince them that we weren�t having a torrid affair. The owner of the restaurant even told me, �You won�t believe what, and who, we see in here. People in every day of the week with a different person!�

All I could think was how stupid do you think I am? Would I really take my new man to the same place I�ve been to a thousand times with my family and my NEW HUSBAND?

I mean, I would at least go to Sizzler or something.