Does the sign on my forehead say "IDIOTS LINE UP HERE?"
At home this afternoon--
Neighbor stupidity: �Is my trailer blocking your driveway? Did you want to park now?� (see previous entry for more trailer information and irritation)
Me: �No, no. It�s just MY driveway. It�s fine! I�ll park a few blocks away.� (note the sarcasm in my voice as I continued to wait until he finally moved!)
At work--
Customer stupidity: �Is my order in yet?�
Me: �Not yet�remember three days ago when I said your order would be here in 7 to 10 business days?�
Checking the messages--
Answering Machine stupidity: (left earlier today, caller ID shows that this person has called 5 times in the last two days and left one message) �Hi, um, this is 5-S Communications, please call me back.�
Me: (I called back, curious as to why they keep calling and leaving weirdly anonymous messages) �Yes, you called me and left a message?�
5-S Communications(?): Oh, hi, do you have computer keyboards for sale?�
Me: �I�m sorry, who is this?�
5-S Communications: �Oh, I think I have the wrong number.�
Me: �Uh yeah. You may have noticed that our message says �Hi, you�ve reached Ensie and Frinklin, leave a message�, not �Random Computer Parts Store�. Please stop calling.�
At work, again�
Customer Stupidity: �Can I get the extra discount from the sale?�
Answer: �No, that sale actually ended 5 days ago.�
Customer (now irritated): �Yeah, I know, but can I still get the discount?�
Answer: �No.� (hello?)
Stupid customer approaches cash register�
Me: �Hi, I can help you here. Is that going to be all for you today?�
Customer (giving me the �duh� look: �Why would I have come to the cash register if I wasn�t ready to pay? Sheesh!� (He actually said �sheesh�)
I approach cash register at another retail outlet to pay for pajama pants ($10) ON MY BIRTHDAY�
Cashier: �I need to see your ID with your credit card.�
Me (showing driver�s license): �Okay, here you go.�
Cashier: �That�s not you!�
Me: �Uh, yes, it is. I had blue hair for several years. It�s grown out now.�
Cashier (grabbing wallet from my hand): �Are you sure?�
Me (grabbing wallet back): �Yes. I�m sure.�
Cashier (skeptically, the last part muttered under her breath): �Okaaaaay, if you say so.�
Did I mention that this occurred ON MY BIRTHDAY?? Is that even allowed?
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have weird shit like this happen to me all the time. Do I have some strange magnetic field that makes people react stupidly around me? Or do I just unconsciously seek out the idiots in life? Only time will tell.
