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Thanks Axe!

April 18, 2004
I have a bone to pick with Axe Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant. I never really cared about Axe before. Their commercials were mildly irritating, sometimes almost funny, and I got along without giving too much thought to Axe, and how it related to me.

Now it has invaded my thoughts for far too long, and I can’t stop thinking about their creepy new print ad that made me throw my Rolling Stone across the room.

I searched and searched for an online version of the new Axe ad, because, while my description will give you an adequate vision of the ad, you really have to see it to be fully creeped out by it. If you’re near a Rolling Stone magazine (with Uma and Quentin on the cover), check out page 43 and you’re on it.

Picture, if you will, a romantic scene. A beautiful woman in a black dress sits in a gondola, holding a glass of red wine. City lights reflect in the water behind her. The beautiful woman is leaning into her date, closing her eyes in ecstasy? contentment? relaxation?

Or possibly her eyes are closed because her date is an armpit--literally. A naked, hairy armpit, complete with stubby, knee-less legs, feet, and even (gross) toes. Three on each foot. The tag line on the ad is “dry pits win”. So she’s dating the pit itself? Like she’s so hot for the pit that she said, “Screw the guy—I just want to hump his pit?” (with feet!)

And the hair. Really, people, could the pit look anymore like pussy if it tried? Before I noticed the tag line I thought that’s what it was!

Are you getting the picture? Do you see why this disturbs me? I’m thinking the next thing I type needs to be a letter to Axe asking them to make it go away (for the love of God!)

If the damage wasn’t already done, I’ve been staring at this picture as I type. Great. Can’t wait to go to sleep tonight. Just one more hellish subconscious image to choose from. Thanks Axe!

***Note--You can now see the ad here***

6:45 p.m. :: 0 comments so far ::
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